Godly Dating Principle #10: TEN Benefits of Trusting God with Love

Do you have a deep desire for a relationship or marriage and it has not yet come to fruition? Or perhaps you are dating but just can’t seem to find the ‘right’ person. Well my friend, welcome to the adventure called ‘faith,’ which often entails seasons of waiting and trusting in His timing to bring to pass the longings of our hearts. We don’t have all the answers as to why or how long, but the Bible does tell us this:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…” ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

Notice how God says there is a season for everything in life. Not one thing, not some things, but every single thing. That suggests then that there is a season for matters related to our hearts. A season to wait, date and marry for example. Therefore, we should always be asking, “Lord, what season do you have me in right now?” Then we can embrace it, live it, honor it and glean from all God wants to teach us through it. When we are in a hurry to jump from season to season, or if we are oblivious to the season into which God is calling us, we can miss out big time on opportunities for growth, maturation and serving.

What season does He have you in right now?

There was a season in my life when I felt God asking me to refrain from engaging in any romantic relationships. At first I thought this was completely crazy! I mean, wasn’t dating the ‘normal’ thing to do? Then God encouraged me through these words in Proverbs 3:5-6:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.”

I knew right then and there God was asking me to trust Him on a new level. Instead of relying on my own (and frankly, worldly) understanding of romantic love and how to go about it, He was asking me to submit to His way of doing things. Yikes. This is not an easy thing to do in the ‘microwavable’ love culture in which we live that says, “I want it hot, I want it fast, and I want it now!”

But God calls us to a standard of love that requires patience, purity and passion to be led by His Spirit within us rather than the pleasure-seeking ways of our flesh.  It is only then that we will experience what it is like to be led on His ‘straight path’ bursting with lasting fruits of peace, patience, joy and self-control (see Gal. 5:22). Here are 10 lasting and tangible fruits I have experienced in my own life as a result of submitting to God’s ways and timing in the area of love, dating and relationships:

  1. A closer, more intimate relationship with God, rooting my identity in Him and not my relationship ‘status’
  2. A reliance on God (and not a person) to fill my every need – emotionally, spiritually and physically
  3. A healed heart from past relationships
  4. A renewed understanding of God’s original design for marriage
  5. A sincere desire to wait on God with patience and expectation
  6. A deep sense of satisfaction and contentment
  7. A peace in my heart that He is in control of every aspect of my future
  8. A community of authentic believers with whom to have fellowship and foster meaningful friendships
  9. A deep and sincere abiding joy that serves as strength in moments of loneliness and weakness (Nehemiah 8:10)
  10. A heart to serve in unique ways using the extra time and energy I have as a single person

May your soul find rest in the lasting fruits that come from trusting our Father in Heaven, who has all of our days ordained in His book even before they have come to be (Psalm 139:16). Know that He is orchestrating details on your behalf right NOW, in THIS moment, making “everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

What are some of the lasting fruits you have experienced as a result of embracing God’s season and submitting to His timing in regards to romantic love?

**I am sad to say, this is the concluding principle for godly dating in what has been a 10-part series. Have you enjoyed and/or gained anything from it? The conversation doesn’t have to stop here and hopefully it won’t! Feel free to leave a comment regarding the thoughts in this post or to pose further questions and discussion topics around love, dating and relationships that we can tackle together in the coming weeks!

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21 Comments on “Godly Dating Principle #10: TEN Benefits of Trusting God with Love

  1. Thanks Ali for this encouragement!!! It’s really in knowing what season your in & embracing it. God bless u more!

  2. Dear Ali,

    Great post! Thanks for sharing!

    You may appreciate the book, “A Man Worth Waiting For: How to Avoid A Bozo” by Jackie Kendall.

    Great read!

    Kendall highlights the Bible story of Boaz and Ruth to show us that we should wait for the Boaz type of man that God has for us and she teaches us how to recognize a “Bozo” and AVOID danger! 🙂

    I recommend the book to all women of dating-age! 🙂

    Here’s the Amazon link:

    http://www.amazon.com/Man-Worth-Waiting-Avoid-Bozo/dp/0446699713/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310713070&sr=1-1

    God bless you!

    Sincerely,

    Alexis

    • Hi Alexis,

      Thanks for your comment. I have heard of that book! Catchy title eh? Thanks for the rec!

      Blessings,

      Ali

  3. Hi Ali! I enjoyed reading the Godly Dating Principles. A couple of months ago I started a relationship with a long time friend of mine. I felt like I was ready, he felt like he was ready…but we later found out that perhaps it wasn’t the right time for the both of us. I can say for myself, I failed to communicate with him when there was an issue and I decided to end it one day. Of course I felt stupid afterwards for doing that, but that just let me know that I have some more growing to do and I need to work out some trust issues.

    So, now I’m trying to accept the fact that God may want me to be in this season a little longer before I can move into the next season. My question for you is, how do you handle the pressures from friends/family who want to see you in a relationship like…right now! Lol.

    • Hi Melissa!

      Thanks for sharing your situation. Though the situation you were in was tough, I am glad you learned from it and are sensing that God have some more work to do in you before you step into that ‘next’ phase.

      Regarding the pressure from family, ya know, ya just gotta be honest with them and ask God to help you speak with confidence. If your family is Christian, you can tell them in Christian terms that you are waiting on God’s best and learning to put him first. Sometimes sprinkling some humor helps like, “Well, Jesus loves me to much to let me date right now!” lol 😉

      If you family/friends are not Christian, sometimes you can just phrase it like, “I am just not ready for a relationship right now.” Or “I am really enjoying this time of being on my own and trust that when the time is right, I will be ready to be in a relationship.”

      Just keep praying and asking God for a sincere peace, confidence and contentment with where He has you right now. This will come across as you talk to people and answer their questions regarding dating!

      Thanks for your comment, hope you’ll come back soon sister!

      Ali

  4. Dear Ali,

    I have always struggled on and off with my status of being single mostly because I’m one of the only ones among my friends that is still single. I’ve always managed to get through it until recently. I’m 30 by the way.
    In the past months, I have struggled and have struggled hard. This has led to a lot of crying and questioning if God really cares about me.It has also led me to be angry with Him.
    I’ve kept your blog bookmarked for the longest time and never had the time to read it until today and this was the post I read. I cried because this post hit home and hit me hard.
    It continuously amazes me that God continues to make himself heard in the most interesting ways. Thank you for this post.

    • Amen sister. It seems that God is really speaking to you and reminding you of His faithfulness. Hang in there…the next season WILL come!

      Blessings,

      Ali

  5. This was a great series, Ali! Thank you so much for writing it 🙂

    I am in the season of waiting and while it is so hard sometimes, I am also so grateful for all that God’s been cultivating in me and teaching me. He is faithful and I don’t want to miss the joy of this season, but sometimes I feel myself longing for the next season to come quickly.

    Thanks for your encouragement!

    • Glad you enjoyed it Emma! May the Lord bless you and keep you and SHINE His face upon you in each season He has you in. Keep commenting!

      Love,

      Ali

  6. Hey Ali,
    Thanks for posting this.. I miss your sweet self so very much and wish we could engage over a cuppa coffee! 😀

    All that you have mentioned under principle 10 I have come to experience and isn’t it a joy to know that such maturity means that only greater things are yet to be? 😀 A woman completely in love with Jesus simply glows in sweetness.. just like you dear friend. I hope you are keeping well!

    • Sheena, you are so sweet girl! I miss you too and pray we can meet up again soon. Are you gearing up for a change in season yet? When is your teaching finished?

      Bless you abundantly!!

      Ali

  7. I thank God for your life and for the way you inspire single pple you are really right there is a time for every thing that God has created its just that most singles are too inpatience with God they don’t wait for his time for them they rush in to marriages ansd they later find out they are not happy and then leads them to depression and fustration then they end up getting divorce so its good to wait and trust in God at all times he is not a wicked God he knows wats best for us so am not yet married but I do know that God has better plans for me and he will give me a man that we both will have a wonderful home and marriage together

  8. Very inspirational. I solidly agree with your 10 lasting and tangible fruits because I am proudly married and I must say my blessings came out from this 10 list. Indeed there is time for everything. You can only get what is yours at the right time so relax and fill your self with the words of God while you wait on the lord for your own time. I am happily married to the best man ever and we have 4 kids together and a great business today because I trusted in the lord not on any man or past relationship. God can do yours too. Digest these 10 lasting and tangible fruits and get prepared for an everlasting happiness. Thanks Ali

  9. Hi Ali,
    Reading your 10 lasting and tangible fruits is like reading the fruits God has given me. I am 32 and single. Sometimes back my first ever romantic relationship ended after only a short time. I have a strong faith in God but my relationship with God was only lukewarm. The center of my world was no longer in Jesus and I even skipped masses to make time for dating. When we broke up, I felt emptiness and engulfed with sadness and resentment. I felt unworthy to be loved and worried about my future, whether anyone will ever come to my life, whether I will still in a good fertility, etc. I didn’t have many friends as my ex partner used to be the closest friend I had. I have never been into any church community as well.

    But God always has his own way. One time when I still dated my ex, we went for a trip with his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. Almost a year later, I got in touch again with this girl and she introduced me to her church community. Being in this community gives a leap to my faith. In the community, we nurture each other and I personally grow closer to God. Now most of my time are for the Lord. I devote 1 hour each week to go to Church and spend time with Jesus in silence. Each time I become more enthusiastic to spend this time as if I’m about to go for a date.

    Sometimes when I started to reconcile with God, this passage came to me so loud and clear everytime I felt jealous looking at happy couples:
    “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33)

    When I’m mending the relationship with God, another passage came whenever I see happy couples in Church or my community:
    “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15)

    For me, these passages are like God’s calling and promise for my future. Only when I put Jesus as my all in all, then everything else will be given.. and I’m holding to that promise. 🙂

    God bless you, Ali. May your fruits become blessings for everyone.

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